It’s French. Means “the call of the void”. It’s when you look into the void and the void looks back into you (did I just quote Nietzsche?). It’s that urge to jump.
You’re scared to jump and depressed enough to jump at the same time.
It’s that time of a life again when I hit a hard wall and can’t find the way out of the headache and disappointment…
I hate giving up plans. Dreams stay of course. But before this I had the risk of thinking of dreams as plans. But viola… la vide.
Most of all, I am afraid of being afraid again. I feel like and really want to break out of all this, but every time I try the ropes around me tighten. I don’t want to stay. I really don’t want to stay. I don’t want to get depressed again.
Ani, you will break out, trust me. It’s a temporary disappointment. You will realise your dreams. You will be fine.